Question 1

What is PairLume in one sentence?

Accepted Answer

PairLume is a relationship wellness app where you can run guided conversations with an AI facilitator, book live sessions with verified professionals, and work through courses and books at your own pace. It is not a medical service and it does not diagnose or treat anything.

Question 2

How do I start on PairLume if I have never used anything like it?

Accepted Answer

Create an account, answer a few short questions about what you want to work on, then open the AI guide and run one short session. Most people finish their first useful conversation inside ten minutes without inviting anyone or paying anything.

Question 3

Do both partners need an account to use PairLume?

Accepted Answer

No. You can use the AI guide, courses, books and the community on your own. You only need a second account when you want a couple session, since each partner joins with their own login.

Question 4

Does my partner have to know I am using PairLume?

Accepted Answer

Not for solo work. Solo sessions are private to you and nothing is shared with a partner unless you invite them into a couple session or send them something yourself.

Question 5

How much does it cost to try PairLume?

Accepted Answer

Creating an account and running AI guided sessions at the free tier costs nothing. Paid items are the upgrade, individual courses and books, and live sessions with professionals, which each show their price before you confirm.

Question 6

Do I need to talk out loud to use PairLume?

Accepted Answer

No. You can type everything. Voice input and spoken replies are optional and can be switched off in a session at any point.

Question 7

What language does PairLume work in?

Accepted Answer

The AI guide replies in the language you write or speak in, so you can hold a session in your own language. The interface, courses and books are currently in English.

Question 8

How long does a typical PairLume session take?

Accepted Answer

A guided AI session usually runs ten to twenty five minutes depending on how much you write. Booked sessions with a professional are normally sixty minutes unless the listing says otherwise.

Question 9

Can I stop a session in the middle?

Accepted Answer

Yes. You can close a guided session whenever you want and the conversation stays saved so you can pick it up later.

Question 10

What happens to a session I never finish?

Accepted Answer

It stays in your history as an open session. Nothing is deleted automatically, and you can delete it yourself at any time.

Question 11

Is PairLume only for couples?

Accepted Answer

No. Plenty of people use it alone to prepare for a difficult conversation, to think through a decision, or to work on how they show up in a relationship that has not started yet.

Question 12

Can I use PairLume if my relationship is already over?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Separation, co-parenting and repairing after a breakup are common topics in solo sessions and in the library.

Question 13

Is there an age limit?

Accepted Answer

PairLume is built for adults and accounts are intended for people aged eighteen and over.

Question 14

What should I do in my first ten minutes on PairLume?

Accepted Answer

Set up your account, pick one topic that is actually bothering you rather than a general one, run a short guided session, and save the one thing you agreed to try. Inviting a partner and browsing the library can wait.

Question 15

Do I have to fill in a profile before using the app?

Accepted Answer

You need a basic account to run sessions. A community profile with a pseudonym is only required if you want to post or comment in the community.

Question 16

Can I use PairLume without joining the community?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Sessions, bookings and the library work with no community profile at all.

Question 17

How often should I use PairLume for it to help?

Accepted Answer

Short and regular beats long and rare. One focused session a week, plus following through on the one action you agreed to, does more than a marathon session once a month.

Question 18

Does PairLume replace couples therapy?

Accepted Answer

No. It is structured practice and reference material, not treatment. If a therapist would help, PairLume can be a place to prepare between appointments rather than a substitute for them.

Question 19

Where can I read exactly how PairLume works before signing up?

Accepted Answer

The reference pages at pairlume.com/how-it-works explain sessions, verification, money, privacy and scope in plain language, and they are readable without an account.

Question 20

Who is behind PairLume?

Accepted Answer

PairLume is built and run by a small independent team, not a clinic or a hospital group. The verification, moderation and dispute processes described in the reference pages are the ones the team actually follows.

Question 21

What actually happens inside a guided session?

Accepted Answer

You pick a topic, the guide asks a small number of focused questions, each person gets space to answer without being cut off, and the session ends with a short summary and one concrete next step.

Question 22

What is the difference between a solo session and a couple session?

Accepted Answer

A solo session is one person and the guide, so you can be blunt without managing anyone's reaction. A couple session has both partners in the same conversation, and the guide keeps turn taking even.

Question 23

Which should I choose first, solo or couple?

Accepted Answer

If you are not sure what you want to say yet, do a solo session and get clear. If you already know the point and the problem is how the conversation goes, do a couple session.

Question 24

Can my partner see what I wrote in my solo sessions?

Accepted Answer

No. Solo sessions are private to your account. A couple session only shows what is written inside that shared session.

Question 25

How does a couple session stay fair when one of us talks more?

Accepted Answer

The guide tracks turns and prompts the quieter person directly rather than letting one side fill the space. It will also stop and redirect if the conversation becomes one sided.

Question 26

Can we do a couple session from two different places?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Each partner joins from their own device and account, so being in different homes, cities or time zones is fine.

Question 27

Can we do a couple session on one phone?

Accepted Answer

You can, by passing the phone back and forth, but two devices works better because each person answers privately before the guide brings the answers together.

Question 28

How do I invite my partner to a session?

Accepted Answer

Send them the invite from inside the session. They accept, create their own account if they do not have one, and join with their nickname.

Question 29

What if my partner refuses to join?

Accepted Answer

Do solo work. A lot of what changes a pattern is what one person does differently, and the library has material written for exactly that situation.

Question 30

Why does PairLume ask for a nickname when joining a session?

Accepted Answer

So the transcript reads naturally and each person can see who said what without exposing full names to the other side.

Question 31

Are sessions saved?

Accepted Answer

Yes, the transcript and summary are saved to your history so you can look back at what you agreed. You can delete a session yourself when you no longer want it stored.

Question 32

Can I export or share a session summary?

Accepted Answer

You can copy or share the summary yourself. PairLume does not send your session anywhere on its own.

Question 33

Does the guide take sides?

Accepted Answer

No. It is built to stay neutral, describe what it heard from each side, and avoid declaring a winner. If you push it to say who is right, it will bring the focus back to what happens next.

Question 34

Can the AI guide handle heavy topics like infidelity?

Accepted Answer

It can hold a structured conversation about it, and there is material in the library on repair after a betrayal. If the situation involves ongoing harm or crisis, the guide will point you to real support instead.

Question 35

What will the AI guide refuse to do?

Accepted Answer

It will not diagnose, prescribe, give legal advice, act as an emergency service, or tell you to leave or stay in a relationship. It also will not pretend to be a licensed clinician.

Question 36

Is the AI guide a real therapist?

Accepted Answer

No. It is a facilitator that keeps a conversation structured. Live professionals are separate, are booked individually, and are shown with their credentials.

Question 37

Which AI model does PairLume use?

Accepted Answer

PairLume routes through several large language models with fallbacks so sessions keep working if one provider has an outage. The behaviour and boundaries of the guide stay the same either way.

Question 38

Does the AI remember previous sessions?

Accepted Answer

Each session carries its own thread, and you can reopen a past session to keep working in it. Starting a new session starts a clean context on purpose so old arguments do not bleed into new ones.

Question 39

How do I book a session with a professional?

Accepted Answer

Open a profile from the Experts page, pick an open time, confirm, and the amount is held from your wallet. You get the booking in your list with the join details.

Question 40

When does the video room open?

Accepted Answer

Shortly before the start time rather than hours ahead, so a booked hour cannot be opened and left running all day. It closes once the session is marked complete.

Question 41

What happens if my professional is late?

Accepted Answer

Wait inside the room, since the join is tracked on both sides. If they never arrive, open a dispute on the booking and the team reviews the attendance record.

Question 42

What happens if I am late to my own session?

Accepted Answer

The time still runs. Professionals usually wait a reasonable period, but a session shortened because you joined late is not automatically refunded.

Question 43

Can I reschedule a booked session?

Accepted Answer

Yes, from the booking itself, subject to the notice window shown on the booking. Very late changes are treated the same as a cancellation.

Question 44

Can a professional cancel on me?

Accepted Answer

It happens occasionally. When a professional cancels, the hold is released back to your wallet and you can rebook with them or with someone else.

Question 45

Do I get notes after a session with a professional?

Accepted Answer

Some professionals release written notes to the client after a session. When they do, the notes appear on the booking and you are notified.

Question 46

How does PairLume verify professionals?

Accepted Answer

Before a profile goes live, we check identity, collect credential documents, confirm the licence or qualification against the issuing body where one exists, and review how the person describes their work.

Question 47

Can anyone list themselves as an expert on PairLume?

Accepted Answer

No. Applications are reviewed manually and profiles stay hidden until the review is finished. Applying is not the same as being listed.

Question 48

What documents do professionals have to provide?

Accepted Answer

Government photo identification, proof of the qualification or licence they claim, and where relevant proof of insurance and the registration number for their regulator.

Question 49

What does the verified badge on a profile mean?

Accepted Answer

It means we checked identity and the credentials shown on that profile, not that PairLume endorses their clinical judgement or guarantees an outcome.

Question 50

What is the difference between a licensed professional and a non licensed one?

Accepted Answer

A licensed professional holds a current licence from a regulator that can investigate and discipline them. A non licensed practitioner, such as a coach, may be trained and experienced but has no regulator standing behind them.

Question 51

Why does PairLume list coaches at all?

Accepted Answer

Because a lot of relationship work is practical rather than clinical, and coaches are often more available and less expensive. The listing states clearly which type each person is so you can choose knowingly.

Question 52

How do I know whether the person I am booking is licensed?

Accepted Answer

The profile states it plainly, including the credential and the region it applies to. If it does not say licensed, treat the person as a coach.

Question 53

Do you check licences again after someone is listed?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Credentials with expiry dates are re-checked when they lapse, and a profile can be paused if a document is not renewed.

Question 54

What if a professional loses their licence?

Accepted Answer

Their listing is removed or converted, upcoming bookings are cancelled with the money returned, and affected clients are told what changed.

Question 55

Do you verify professionals outside the country you are based in?

Accepted Answer

Yes, and the region a licence applies to is shown on the profile because a licence in one country does not carry to another.

Question 56

Can a professional work with clients in a country where they are not licensed?

Accepted Answer

That depends on their regulator, and it is their responsibility to work inside their permitted scope. If you are unsure, ask before you book.

Question 57

How long does verification take?

Accepted Answer

Usually a few working days once every document is in. Missing or unreadable documents are the most common reason it takes longer.

Question 58

Does PairLume run background checks?

Accepted Answer

We verify identity and credentials with the issuing bodies. We do not present that as a criminal background screening, and we say so rather than implying more than we do.

Question 59

Can I see a professional's registration number?

Accepted Answer

Where a regulator publishes registers, the profile shows the credential details you need to look them up yourself. We encourage people to check.

Question 60

What if a profile claims something that turns out to be false?

Accepted Answer

Report it. False credential claims lead to removal, and any bookings affected are refunded.

Question 61

How do I report a professional?

Accepted Answer

Use the report option on the booking or the profile, describe what happened and when, and the review team picks it up. Reports about safety are handled first.

Question 62

What happens after I report someone?

Accepted Answer

The report is reviewed against session records and any previous reports. Outcomes range from a warning to suspension and removal, and refunds are handled separately from the report itself.

Question 63

Will the professional know I reported them?

Accepted Answer

They are told what the concern is because they have to be able to answer it, but reports are handled through the team rather than passed on as a message from you.

Question 64

Do reviews on PairLume come from real clients?

Accepted Answer

Reviews can only be left by someone who actually completed a booking with that professional, which is why some good professionals have very few of them at first.

PairLume FAQ