Twelve Questions to Ask Before Booking a Therapist

Short questions with revealing answers, covering credentials, method, money and what happens if it is not working.

You are allowed to interview the person you are about to pay. Good professionals expect it. Here are the questions that actually separate one candidate from another, and what a decent answer sounds like.

## On credentials

**Are you licensed, and by which body?** A clear answer names the regulator and the jurisdiction. A vague answer that lists trainings instead of a licence is an answer.

**Can I look you up on a register?** Licensed clinicians say yes without hesitation. If a register is not public in their country, they should be able to say which body holds the record.

**What is your training in couples work specifically?** Individual therapy training does not automatically make someone good with two people in the room. Named methods such as EFT, the Gottman approach, IFS informed couples work or PACT tell you more than years alone.


## On method

**How does a first session run?** You want a structure, not a mood. Something like: history, what each of you wants, what I noticed, and a plan for the next few sessions.

**Do you give us anything to do between sessions?** Not everyone does, and that is fine, but the answer tells you whether the work lives only in the hour.

**How do you handle it when one of us talks much more than the other?** Any experienced couples practitioner has a concrete answer here. A vague one means they have not thought about it.

## On scope

**What do you not work with?** The best answer is specific and slightly uncomfortable. Someone who says they work with everything is either very unusual or not being careful.

**When would you refer us out?** Trauma, addiction, active crisis, and safety concerns should all appear. A coach should also mention anything clinical.


## On money and logistics

**What is the total price and length of a session?** On PairLume both are shown before you confirm, so this is really a check that nothing extra appears later.

**What is your cancellation policy?** Ask for the number of hours, not the sentiment.

**How quickly do you usually reply between sessions?** Expectations cause more resentment than any policy. Set them at the start.

## On endings

**How will we know if this is working?** Look for observable markers: fewer escalations, a repair that lands, a conversation you have been avoiding actually happening. Not feelings alone.

**What happens if we decide it is not working?** A confident professional will tell you to say so, will not take it personally, and will help you find a better fit. On PairLume you are booking one session at a time, so there is nothing to cancel and nobody to escape from.

## Where to ask these

You can send them as a message before booking. How someone answers a direct question about scope and money tells you as much as the answer itself. Slow, evasive, or offended is data.

If you want the wider context on credentials before you start, read [licensed and non licensed](/how-we-verify/licensed-and-unlicensed).